Segments

                I view my life in segments, segments which include childhood, middle school, high school, and college. Throughout each segment I have changed dramatically.

In the childhood segment, I hated to brush my hair. It was tied in knots often, except on those rare occasions when I would allow my mother to work them out. I was a dancer, loved my cat, and played with only one girl at school. At times I was a bit of a loner. I recall a day on the playground when I hung upside down on the jungle gym. I lost my grip and fell on my head, quickly knocking the wind out of me. Nobody even noticed for several minutes, until I found the strength to cry for help. However, when I played with my friend, we had the greatest moments ever. We had dug a small hole and would crawl under a wooden fence as a shortcut home from school and would spend several afternoons in non-stop joy.

                As a middle schooler I began to learn about life and was exposed to things I never knew existed. Middle school was when I was educated by a co-worker at my first job about MAXIM magazine, and “hotornot.com”, a site in which you rate the images of various individuals. I remember one day in 7^th grade English class when a girl mentioned to us that she had lost her virginity the night before. She began describing the evening in great detail, filling my mind with horrible sins I had very little knowledge of. I joined the volleyball team and was quickly made fun of because of my hairy legs. I had never even thought of shaving before. That night I went home and began to convince my mom to help me remove it. Why? To prevent one ounce of the pain on the bus to games as the girls kept poking and prodding me to admit what a beauty failure I was. In fifth grade, two girls in the bathroom, Rachel and Desiree, would pull my hair and say, “Janna, one day we’re going to give you a make-over.” All of a sudden, throughout those few years, life became all about looks. However, middle school was also the time when I discovered Jesus strongly for myself, at Italy Beach Week to be exact, and I began to study the Word on my own.

                High school was a different segment. I joined the cheerleading squad my freshman year and began to learn how to care for my body. I became very flexible, and was quickly one of the best at stretching. Following sophomore year, I got my first year-round job as a worker at Baskin Robbins. During that time, I was exposed to the various types of piercings a girl can get- from the back up the neck to threading down the side. My co-workers told me about smoking, shared with me the struggles of their relationships (mostly living with their boyfriends/girlfriends), and the gang activities in their neighborhoods. That time was a time of growth for me, as my beliefs were challenged. However, I stood strong. The more time I spent with my friends who lived strong lives for Christ, and the more time I spent in the Word and prayer, the more wisdom I gained, and the stronger my faith became.

                Going to college was once again a new segment of life. In college I got involved with a college group in which I met young men and women on fire for God! I was amazed! These college students were away from home, and had the ability to choose any path they desired. But they still chose God! I met friends who challenged me in my faith. I made friends who knew way more than I did about the Bible, and who were willing to talk about it. I made friends who taught me to dance more and to love my life like I’ve never loved it before! Yes, I learned about many aspects of college life. But I also learned to make my own decisions. I learned to explore the Word of God for myself and to discover what it meant. I learned to live my own faith.

                Now I’m in a new segment of life. This segment is my Sun Valley Indian School segment. Throughout this stage, I am learning trust. I am learning to trust in God like I never thought was possible. I trust in God every month for my salary. If donors do not send money, I don’t get paid…literally. I trust in God for my health insurance, as we are not provided any through the school. I trust in God for my sanity, as I am so far from my family. I trust in God for wisdom in explaining concepts to my students that I struggle with myself. I trust in God for help in teaching His Word to these kids! What a responsibility! And you know what- time and time again, even when I’ve doubted, He’s come through.

                My time here at Sun Valley is often a struggle. It’s a struggle in which I sit in front of my computer and think out loud, “God! WHY ME? Why Janna? Why would you send me to a place in the middle of the high desert, making a fifth of what I have the potential for with my degree, working with students who lack desire? WHY ME?” I think sometimes, “God? Are you even out there? Dang it! Why can’t I be like all my friends- beginning major careers, getting married, having children?” Then I hear that small voice, and a peace comes upon me. The voice asks, “Why NOT you Janna?”

                Life has turned in a direction I never imagined it would. However, the direction is comforting. The direction reveals to me that God still has His hand upon my life. It reveals to me that I am still that lumpy piece of clay that the Potter is continuing to mold daily.

                I watch the sunset from the top of the hill with the three crosses. I look back at the Sun Valley campus and the stillness that rests here. I see children who come from hard homes, in the hands of believers who love them…and I praise God that He thinks I am the right fit for this job. He finds me worthy of caring for His precious children.

                Days are silly here, as I often remind my friends. One morning I was offered a grilled cheese sandwich by the kitchen workers for breakfast. That was the best thing ever! I had never even thought of that idea before. Tammy called me last Thursday night asking if I wanted to go to the donut shop in town the next morning before breakfast. We left at 5:15, enjoyed donuts and coffee, and completed our grocery shopping, all before breakfast at 7:00. Yesterday after church Kelly states, “I just want Starbucks.” So we all piled in her car and drove the hour to the nearest Starbucks.

                I look at the moments in my life that make it worth living. I laugh and look forward to tomorrow.